JESUS DON"T WANT ME FOR A SUNBEAM

Today was WEIRD. To start out I bumped into some guy in drag who clomped off in platforms while saying something like "GURL! You best watch where you go, or else I am gonna have to get all up in your face!". Let me remind you this is the second time in a week I've been referred to as girl by a gender defying person. My feet kinda just scritched over the pavement today, and staring down at them I notice I have two different shoes on. Then I notice directly in front of my feet are two ginormous purple blobby things, and located on top of these ginormous blobby things is an even more ginormous blobby thing. BARNEY!! His squishy six foot frame looms over me like a childhood nightmare. On either side of him are two women who look like they smoke 10 packs a day, all dressed up like hoochie mamas. Barney's permanent grin doesn't leave his face as he shoves both women in the limo to his left and ducks in after them. His deliriously cheery voice chirps to the driver to floor it if he doesn't want to get his mother fucking head blown off. I continue to scritch my way to Garret Lanes. My life long dream of being a hot dog eating champion is no longer. Now I realize my true calling is bowling. Upon arriving at the bowling alley a white paper is tapes to it's doors. Written in a scrawl is the word closed. No explanation. I continue to scritch down the street.